Dick: How was the flight?
Jane:The bathroom in first class had a malfunction and it tore out some guys rectum.
Dick: Wow! That would really suck.
Jane: Yeah the guy was screaming and there was blood everywhere. So needless to say, the bathroom was out of order.
Dick: Yeah, I guess so.
Jane: Well anyway, I had to pee for like the last three hours so I ended up just crossing my legs and squeezing really hard to not pee myself and I think I had an orgasm.
Dick: Really? On the plane? In your seat?
Jane: Yeah. Actually I know I had an orgasm and so then I totally pissed myself.
Dick: No kidding? That happened to me once.
Jane: Really? You squeezed your thighs together for so long and hard you came?! And peed yourself.
Dick: No, I actually shat myself on a greyhound bus outside of Denver.
Jane: And you ejaculated?
Dick: No, I just shit myself. I was reading some new age book about the secret dream life of trees and I had the sudden realization that I was everything and I didn’t need to do anything. I just was. And I began to laugh and cry so hard I shit myself.
Jane: Sounds more like a nervous breakdown.
Dick: No. It was totally cool. Like I was just a human being who had soiled himself. No one seemed to really care. I felt great.